What Would Oscar Say?

Part 1.

Oscar Wilde observed, “An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.” The implementation and evaluation plan developed into a series of dangerous ideas, but to deem those ideas worthy after copious hours of writing is of question. Upon well-intentioned wings ready to soar, the leap from the heights began with the exhilaration of a purposeful flight. Unfortunately, like Icarus, my wings were feather and wax, and at the midpoint, the implementation evolved into a subjective fantasy worthy of a novelist, not a systems designer. Due to the grandiose scope of the implementation, the evaluation plans would require an extensive development process, even more extensive than the implementation itself.   

If failing and making mistakes have value in learning, then the road to wisdom lies before me,  for it seems to be the only path I know. Self-depreciation is easy to embrace when failing to achieve a masterpiece, but the years have taught that a masterpiece is an illusion. As an exercise and an assignment, practicing writing, generating thoughts, placing thoughts on paper, and producing a product was satisfying. Piled in my storage unit, hidden in the back of multiple closets, hidden under the bed, and hanging throughout the house, paintings in the hundreds are waiting for a day that will never come to be considered a masterpiece. The hard drive on the computer contains terabytes of words written that will never be read, poems composed that will never be mused, and song lyrics and melodies never to be played. The digital images of projects and ideas rendered will never again be seen but erased with a single formatting. Over the years, few creations have fostered a word of encouragement, only subjective criticism of what was wrong, why they did not care for the work, and suggestions of what could be done better. However, being arrogant, self-centered, and absorbed in my artistic futility, I would say all went well.

Part 2.

Each of the three areas of analysis, implementation, and evaluation affords opportunities to develop research. However, the evaluative process demonstrated a marked weakness as the assessment instruments used for data collection and analysis to determine implementation success or failure were inadequate. If the truth of the data collected lies in the question, then the development of the instrument becomes the key. One’s research direction currently leans toward instrument creation, analysis, and validation. If the world runs on data, then the question is everything.

Will I try to do this kind of research in the future? Yes, I will try, and no, for a leaf only knows that Autumn will come and that the ground below is a destination, but where it lands is a matter of random chance. To answer the why and why not is more complicated. In Tennyson’s terms, “Theirs not to make reply / Theirs not to reason why / Theirs but to do and die” seems adequate to describe the status and place of a doctoral student. Alternatively, to return to and conclude with the wit and wisdom of my pal Oscar Wilde, “Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.”